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Love of country, love of family
November 21, 2007
At the Veterans Day ceremony Nov. 12, Lt. Col. Gillian Boice, director of PLU’s Reserve Officer Training Corps, shared a personal letter she wrote in an e-mail to her children while deployed to Iraq in October 2003.
“I hope that it reflects what is often in the heart of some many of us that have served,” Boice said of her letter. “We love our country and we love our families, and sometimes those are hard things to juggle.”
Boice was part of the initial invasion into the country and wound up in Baghdad, charged with the “ominous task” of re-establishing the Baghdad Police Department, she explained. She left at home her husband and three children, ages 14, 12 and six at the time.
Here is the text of her letter:
Hey my little munchkins? How are you doing tonight?
I am so deep into my thoughts of you and the love we have together. Our family is so special and strong. You kids are doing such a fantastic job there while I am gone. I know it isn’t easy, but you just need to keep turning to Daddy and Papa and Grammie Sue for their love and comfort.
I worry about you all the time and think of all the fun I know I am missing at home. It is a hard lifestyle I have chosen. I made this choice before I had you kids, and it has been something that I think about often. I wish many times that I was a stay-at-home mom, so I could see you and be there for you always.
The problem is that I committed myself when I went to West Point to a profession in the Army. I decided I wanted to serve my country and fight for freedom and represent what America stands for. When I made that choice, I didn’t have a husband and children in my life. I was just thinking about how I could make myself worthwhile in this world.
Sure enough, I found my calling in the military. I am a good leader, and I make a big difference in the lives of many soldiers and strangers that I have helped save around the world. I am proud of being an Army officer and making freedom a possibility for many people who are less fortunate than we are.
The problem is that the sacrifices the Army profession demands are so costly. Dad and I had to promise to give our life in defense of our nation. You also must be strong, work long hours and endure separations from your family. You have seen this as you have grown up around it. Sometimes it just seems too much to ask of a person or family to sacrifice…especially with all the separation last year.
How much is freedom worth, and why are we paying such a heavy price for it? Well actually I ask myself this quite often. Some days the answers are easy. I know that my work here means a safer world for you kids to grow up in. It means that America is protected and that innocent people are able to be free. I also am a great MP, and we are really needed here in Iraq. I know my job, and people rely on me to make critical decisions that save soldiers lives.
But then I have days when I have a hard time finding the answers that are good enough to justify my being away from you. These days are hard and my heart is heavy with regret and sadness. I am your mother, I should be with you and keep you safe. I should be at home helping you each day with your homework and cooking and cleaning and caring for our entire crew. I should be the one to read to you and tuck you in at night. I should be the one making sure your ears are clean and the only one allowed to use the Q-tips on you!
I love you, so certainly that it is not right for me to be away. This is my struggle, and I know you are wrestling with your Army Mom and why she is gone. I just hope I am making you proud and that you understand that this is not a job for me, but a choice I made for my country long ago. I am going to finish my 20 years and retire knowing that I have been a strong team player in the history of our country.
I will get home to you in less than 5 months, and we will have lots of time together. We have a bright future in Washington state and in our next assignment. You kids will be happy there, and this time in our life and the pain of this apartness will fade into a distant memory.
I miss you so badly though right now, and even the dreams of the future won’t wash that away…just know that the pain we feel today is felt because we have such a wonderful love of eachother. Love hurts at times, but it is a blessing that we are bonded together and miss each other when we are apart.
Please hang in there and keep your spirits up. Love your Daddy. He is my best friend and he is the reason for the strength of our family. Every time that you snuggle up to him, it is like snuggling up to me...just a bigger and hairier version.
Boice was part of the initial invasion into the country and wound up in Baghdad, charged with the “ominous task” of re-establishing the Baghdad Police Department, she explained. She left at home her husband and three children, ages 14, 12 and six at the time.
Here is the text of her letter:
Hey my little munchkins? How are you doing tonight?
I am so deep into my thoughts of you and the love we have together. Our family is so special and strong. You kids are doing such a fantastic job there while I am gone. I know it isn’t easy, but you just need to keep turning to Daddy and Papa and Grammie Sue for their love and comfort.
I worry about you all the time and think of all the fun I know I am missing at home. It is a hard lifestyle I have chosen. I made this choice before I had you kids, and it has been something that I think about often. I wish many times that I was a stay-at-home mom, so I could see you and be there for you always.
The problem is that I committed myself when I went to West Point to a profession in the Army. I decided I wanted to serve my country and fight for freedom and represent what America stands for. When I made that choice, I didn’t have a husband and children in my life. I was just thinking about how I could make myself worthwhile in this world.
Sure enough, I found my calling in the military. I am a good leader, and I make a big difference in the lives of many soldiers and strangers that I have helped save around the world. I am proud of being an Army officer and making freedom a possibility for many people who are less fortunate than we are.
The problem is that the sacrifices the Army profession demands are so costly. Dad and I had to promise to give our life in defense of our nation. You also must be strong, work long hours and endure separations from your family. You have seen this as you have grown up around it. Sometimes it just seems too much to ask of a person or family to sacrifice…especially with all the separation last year.
How much is freedom worth, and why are we paying such a heavy price for it? Well actually I ask myself this quite often. Some days the answers are easy. I know that my work here means a safer world for you kids to grow up in. It means that America is protected and that innocent people are able to be free. I also am a great MP, and we are really needed here in Iraq. I know my job, and people rely on me to make critical decisions that save soldiers lives.
But then I have days when I have a hard time finding the answers that are good enough to justify my being away from you. These days are hard and my heart is heavy with regret and sadness. I am your mother, I should be with you and keep you safe. I should be at home helping you each day with your homework and cooking and cleaning and caring for our entire crew. I should be the one to read to you and tuck you in at night. I should be the one making sure your ears are clean and the only one allowed to use the Q-tips on you!
I love you, so certainly that it is not right for me to be away. This is my struggle, and I know you are wrestling with your Army Mom and why she is gone. I just hope I am making you proud and that you understand that this is not a job for me, but a choice I made for my country long ago. I am going to finish my 20 years and retire knowing that I have been a strong team player in the history of our country.
I will get home to you in less than 5 months, and we will have lots of time together. We have a bright future in Washington state and in our next assignment. You kids will be happy there, and this time in our life and the pain of this apartness will fade into a distant memory.
I miss you so badly though right now, and even the dreams of the future won’t wash that away…just know that the pain we feel today is felt because we have such a wonderful love of eachother. Love hurts at times, but it is a blessing that we are bonded together and miss each other when we are apart.
Please hang in there and keep your spirits up. Love your Daddy. He is my best friend and he is the reason for the strength of our family. Every time that you snuggle up to him, it is like snuggling up to me...just a bigger and hairier version.